A poetic look at the packs of nature, what pack reigns supreme...
Rha The Destroyer
A clash of Persian/Egyptian cultures combining to create a powerful new breed of warrior
Yamato M12
A slashing, katana-wielding samurai warrior inspired by the Japanese legends of Yamato, with a merciless technologically weaponized upgrade
Rha The Destroyer
A clash of Persian/Egyptian cultures combining to create a powerful new breed of warrior
Yamato M12
A slashing, katana-wielding samurai warrior inspired by the Japanese legends of Yamato, with a merciless technologically weaponized upgrade
A deadly agile warrior hailing from Africa, inspired by the legends of Makoma, Shaka Zulu, Nike and raw speed
Maxiza
A warrior of classical antiquity, for honor, war and glory, a hybrid of Spartan/Gladiator descent
Okay I like where you are headed man! Here are a few suggestions for The Pack.
ReplyDeleteFirst, I would double check all spelling and grammar in the story.
Second, I see that your language is not consistent the whole time. One moment it is old time folk feeling and the next it is every day language. So, just watch out for that!
I get a little confused because of the language used and the capitalizations. What I mean is, is that I am not an olden language scholar. So, it reading writing like that, although it is good, is tough for an audience who might not all be able to read it. When I talk about capitalizations, I mean general things being uppercased. For instance the words Dogs and Straight are capitalized. I don't know if they are characters or not with these upper cases.
Lastly, man this story is full of action an intensity! You talk about a suspense thriller and this is it! I liked that feel. DO NOT CHANGE that at all. Oh and take everything with a grain of salt. We people leaving these comments, a ton of us, aren't writing majors.